Monday, April 12, 2010

The Ending of An Episod

Everything that begins has to end. The ending is of multiple nature. It could be happy-ending. It could be tragic-comedy. It could be just a passing memory. Fuzzy and fading into the distant subconsious mind. It may surface somewhere somehow when something triggers it. If not it maybe forgotten, begging to be remembered.

This special image is very symbolic. The flower is very vivid. Behind the flower are the images that will be fuzzy in later years. I just shot this image. Never did I realise that it will be like this. I have to experiment from time to time. I am an amature.

I keep mentioning this feeling lately. After being an educator for 41 years, there is bound to be some very treasured experience, tear jerking, soul searching. But on the other hand I would want to forget whatever that has come my way. Nevertheless all those experiences were moulded and has lead me to become of what I am today.

2009/2010 was a very different experience. An extraordinary one. Never did I experience a similar one in the past. Maybe not in the future. This special group of students was so attached to me. They keep communicating, seeking advise and soliciting professional guidance. I on the hand also feel the attachment to them. They crowded me with excitement. I have the feeling that they are my own children.

I was searching for the reasons for this special feeling. Maybe because my own children are away from home. They are all grown up. Those excitement during their childhood are gone now. Grandchildren simply cannot replace those lost years. As I grow older, I sort of become a drifter. Not physically but mentally. This blog is a respite to me. I am communicating to the world. The world at large. Maybe I have my own audience that I do not know of. They are there reading, absorbing and analysing the distant past which only their parents or grandparents had the experience. 64 years ago was an era the young generation today find it difficult to understand. The historical past is of little interest to most people. But elders like me, dwell on it to see the gap that has been created in the name of development.

The difficulties and suffering that I experienced still bore the scars of a lifetime. The pain is still there. How much I wish things were different. Well, Allah is The All Knowing. He gives you all that is fated to you. You have to submit, prostrate, recite the doa and hope for His blessing. Somehow when your ajal comes to you, He accepts you as His obedience servant.

My attachment to my students was maybe because I keep an open channel of communication. The most popular now is faceboof. It keeps me busy. Relieving my mind, my subconcious mind. I have a set of followers. Please do read along. I am sharing whatever my experience is either physical, mental or psychological. I appreciate if I can get some comments or responses on the content, format, choice of topics or terminologies used. It helps to improve and gives an added impact on its readership.

2010 draws to an end of my relationship with this special class of 2009. They have completed their practicum. The convocation is in the distant future. The date is yet to be finalised. Although legally they are still students, practically they have completed all the requirements to be graduants. Yesterday, Monday April 12, 2010 was a day they converged to the campus and faculty. A vibrant would-be young teachers. Meeting, greeting and exchanging pleasantries was very enlighting.

Inviting them for dinner was planned a long time ago. It was to be before they left the campus for their practicum. Time was not appropriate then. Yesterday was a welcoming home. They are always part of my life and soul. And I guess they have taken part of my life and soul too. My everything is part of them now for the rest of their lives. There is a tinge of sadness in my heart. I wish things were different. There is still a lot that I have to share. But I have to unload them form time to time. InsyaAllah.

They made a tour of my dwellings. It was an awe to them. I encouraged them to plan their lives and planned a better life. Build a family. Build a good home. One that you feel happy, content and attached to everything about your home. Home sweet home.

It was fun watching them mingled around. Fun to watch them enjoying their dinner. It was as if my whole children and grandchildren were there. The original of my class of 2009 was only seven of them. What surprised me was that six other students who were never in my class came and made the night. I really wish the other 12 students made it. But I would not dwell on it. They may have their own reasons for not attending.

The time has come to lower the curtain. I have to let you all go. Please go out there. Spread your wings and spread goodness and good deeds. I always pray that you all become great educators. Great professionals. Thank you for being with me. I will always cherish that moments that we were together. Sharing little thing in the name of experience. You are all a real experience to me.

The images below will be there forever. Please come back to this blog when you feel the urge to. The urge to remember the good times we were together. Time will never be the same after this. As I said, I will continue traveling, traveling into time. Still a lot to see, a lot to learn and experience.

The attachment is there. Four of them were never my real students.
Nevertheless, they still learn an experience.

Three of those my students with one extra.

Another three with two extras.

Three other extras.

They are a close-knit bunch. It was an education to be together.

Their happy faces and expressions. The body language is there.

Zul is the only boy amongst that roses. Driving four hours
all the way from Kuantan just to be together. The other 12,
where are you? You are all still in my heart.

I am parenting them.

The faces of attachment.

One happy family.

Will there be another time? Being together is not an everyday affair. It maybe an experience of a life time. One of its kind. Keep on smiling. Take things easy. Life is full of surprises. Take the challenge. Strive for excellence. I will always be there. Waiting and watching. Good bye. Till we meet again.

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