Monday, March 21, 2011

God Bless You!


One cold winter I was walking through Oakland, the university town surrounding the University of Pittsburgh. Life in the west was always busy then. To them winter is just a season. A passing season. Life just goes on. Never stopping for one moment. Americans simply enjoy their lives. Sometimes changing weather are most welcome. A change in life style. Doing something new. Pursuing something long awaited. Walking through town in winter could be romantic. Remember the old song by Frank Sinatra. Strangers in the night, walking together ……

Strangers in the night, exchanging glances
wondering in the night, what were the chances

something in your eyes was so inviting
something in your smile was so exciting
something in my heart told me I must have you

strangers in the night
two lonely people, we were strangers in the night
up to the moment when we said our first hello little did we know
love was just a glance away, a warm embracing dance away

and

ever since that night we've been together
love at first sight in love forever
it turned out right for strangers in  the night


love was just a glance away, a warm embracing dance away

and

ever since that night we've been together
love at first sight in love forever
it turned out right for strangers in  the night

love was just a glance away, a warm embracing dance away
ever since that night we've been together
love at first sight in love forever
it turned out right for strangers in the night.


Wow! It was sometime ago. In 1961 to be excact. A  very long time ago. In the sixties. If my memory is right I was in love at that time when I first heard that song. How I wish I was that song. How romantic.

Oakland was always busy. I guess it is busier now. After 26 years it should have grown tremendously. Engulfing the university. Until now I could not imagine the demarcation line. The boundry that separate the town and the university. All merging into one. Nothing at all that denotes any separation. The students were enjoying their lives as if the were in a distant town. For sure, Oakland is part of the greater Pittsburgh now. Development must have been converging around the university. Yes the university was and is still the vital landmark of Pittsburgh. The pride of her citizens. They adore it. Wishing every child that they have has the opportunity to be schooling at Pitts. Yes at Pitts.

If you watch videos or films produced in the States, please never believe everything that is portrayed. It is just the world of make belief. Sort of social emancipation. Or just psychological escapism. The truth is far beyond. I was there and I never saw everything. It is a fag. A situation of high morality but exploited to the point that it is supposed to be life at its best. Mind you. I was there for the full 18 months. More than 450 days. On films, boys and girls are kissing each other like nobody’s business. Especially college students. They are supposed at their elements. In reality I saw none except once.  On a cold winter night. A couple was showing their affection to each other.  In love. Witnessed by the cold night. The wide world. Void of the emptiness. Void of the coldness. They warmed their hearts and their feelings to each other. That was their world. They dearly created that moment. Cherished forever. They would like to come back to that spot again and again. Remembering the moment. The long lasting moment.

Pittsburgh was a sane city. I hope they preserve that status. Way back in 1985 it was voted the number one city in the whole of USA. The most liveable city. That’s right. In the whole of USA. How lucky I was. I and my family was part of it. I was there. A pleasure to be there. I really enjoyed my stay. A lot of memories. Nice and treasured. How I wish to be back there again. To relive those years gone by. Part of my soul is still there.  The city was calm. Less crime. Full of hope and opportunity. Every citizen has the opportunity to live to the fullest possible.

I was strolling in that winter night. I was of course shivering to my bones. As a foreign student that was my first winter. Familiarising my life over there. Getting used to the harsh winter. To the Americans winter was nothing. They were not wearing gloves. Some were bold enough not to drape their bodies with thick clothing. To them winter is just something normal. A bit colder maybe. Nothing much. Not a big deal. They can withstand anything worse than that. I was never expecting something so bizarre to me. They jog in winter! In cold winter. Donning their shorts and singlets. Can you imagine at all. Correct. Winter is just part of their lives. They live with it.

You know what? In winter I always felt the terrible coldness. To some extent sometimes I felt my head was simply throbbing. Feeling drowsy. Most often sneezing. My nose was watering all the while. That winter night I sneezed quite loudly. Well I was English educated. From remove class until form five. My alma mater was High School Batu Pahat. Somewhere in Johore. What a coincidence. I am now living close to my old school. A mere half a kilometer away. Almost everyday I pass through the school.  Well, that was my contact with British customs and culture. I learned their ways of life. When I sneezed, I immediately said, “Excuse me!” Guess what! People around me  replied, “God bless you!” Not one but a crescendo of voices. Never sure how many of them. My, I was caught completely by surprised. Yes! They still uphold their culture. I was wrong in not expecting it. Something that has been in their blood will not be discarded easily. But when I come back to my dear land, my country, sometimes I missed those cultures that I once saw very abundant. Life has changed so much. The elders have lost their touch. The youngs refuse to uphold the lives so dear to their elders. Instead they are embracing cultures alient to the people. At he end of it they lose their identity. They lose their entity. Lost into anonymity.

Senior citizens like me always try to pass on whatever there is left in our system. To impart not only knowledge but also the whole inheritance. The system is what that made us today.   It really hurt seeing everything being eroded away. Bit by bit those that were dear to us are being deplored. Discarded as not relevant anymore. That was our heritage. Our beginning. Our blood, flesh and soul. We live by it for a long time. Maybe globalisation has taken that social treasure. Our roots. The world of reality has taken over. Humans are imitating robots. Many of us have lost the feeling. Lost the sense of what we were before. Deviated from the norm. Being mechanised. Huminity at risk. Could be nation at risk. Worst still, religion at risk. Please take stock, we could lose everything so dear to us. Before you realise it one day you may wake up losing everything.

Nostalgia - The Years Gone By


Whenever my thought wanders back to those years gone by, I feel there is a tinge of sadness.  I simply come to terms with life that every facet of my life has evolved tremendously. Life is moving at a speed so fast that everything is seemed so  distant. I just wonder how long  can I go on. When will be the end? Maybe not in the too distant future. I was about to write an entry in my blog concerning my children when they were small. Those tender years that I nurtuterd them. The years that I used to educate them. The days we were together. Sharing and accommodating each other. Back to those years things are still vivid in my mind. So dear in my memory. The memory enliven my being what I am now.

When the eldest was born 29 May 1973 I was so jubilant. Could be euphoria. Eureka. My first baby. As a father I was expecting a boy. But then a child is a child. She is always welcome. I adored her. She could be my torch bearer. I never discriminate my children whether she is the eldest or the youngest. Never discriminate their gender. They are all my children. My dear children. My dear blood and flesh. My soul. My gratitude to Allah for blessing me with the best children that I have. Each and everyone of them is dear to me in their own and different ways. Each and everyone of them is special. They have all grown up now. Seven are graduates. Each of them has his or her own success stories. They are holding respectable jobs. Economically stable and enjoying their lives. That is the purpose of education. The ultimate is to be self sufficient, self-relient and  self sustanaible. Five of them are married. 12 grandchildren between them. Only the third is long overdue. Still waiting. My prayer unto them. May Allah bestows upun her and her husband the children that will be dear to them. Children that ensure a long heritage. My heritage.

Occasionallay I would flipped through those family albums that spanned more that five decades. How I wish I could be back to those years. Those tiny children engulfed my memory.  Engulfed my emotions. I could still remember the times I played around with them. Entertaining their wishes. Telling them stories. Sending them to schools. Helping them with their homeworks. Bringing them around the country.  The holidays spent together. Enjoying the comfort of being a government officer. Yes! Frequenting  hotels for meetings and workshops. That were the experiences they acquired. Blending them into children of the world. When I brought the first five of them on a crusade around the world they were simply sampling life. Their  future. The impetus needed cascading on life full of zest. Converging on success of being wellbeing.  Turning all their efforts to maintain  a demeanour of success.

Alhamdulillah, four of them managed to further their studies abroad. Two to US. One to Lancaster, England. One to Al-Azhar University, Egypt. Three has graduated. One still pursuing his studies. Four graduated from  local universities. The youngest is about to embark on her endeavour to success at International Islamic University Malaysia this coming September 2011.  It is almost there. InsyaAllah in about four years from now all nine of them will be graduates either from local or foreign universities. It has been a success story all along. The script  Allah bestowes upon us is simply perfect.  Nevertheless, those years that we were together are gone. It will never come back. I could never look back. It is always the way forward.

I have to accept the fact that both of us are back to square one. Most of the times I and my wife are alone. Together the two of us. Savouring what is left of our lives. Happy being able in discharging our duties. We have been alone together since the youngest went to boarding school way back in 2005.  The house that used to be full of laughter and cries will be enliven now and then when they come back for a short stay. A day or two. Maybe during the Hari Rayas they stay longer. Other days the house is so quite. Maybe a bit tranquil. Lacking luster that used to be.

Most often I and my wife have no time to brood or to dwell on any subject concerning our children. We are busy enough. Maybe too busy. Exhausted when we reach home everyday. Without fail. Day in and day out we leave our house before eight every morning. The whole day the house will be empty. We reach home at about seven in the evening. We are out again after our Maghrib prayer. We are together again at about 10.00 pm. What a life. We made that choice a long time ago. She busies herself. She has a life dear to her. Moving around teaching the holy Quran. I myself is still attached to UTHM. Many weeks I would be around the country on official duties. Most weekends I would not be around.

My loneliness will be felt once in a while. When I drive long distance, I may feel lonely. Yet I welcome that loneliness. It gives me the opportunity to gauge my feelings. To dwell on certain isues. Planning some activities pertaining to public interest.  It is more like public services in the form of informal education such as talks on parenting, motivation, career guidance, forums and seminars. I feel I should contribute to  society. Giving them back whatever is due to them. I owed them so much as citizen. As a student before.They educated me so it is fair enough that I return that favour. They scratched my back then, now I scratch their backs.

Nevertheless the memories that I spent with my children always come back. Sometimes I could still remember the days when my children were small. They were so cute. The are all beautiful to me. My loved ones. In my heart they never grow. They are still small. Soft and tender.   I still can visualise the time I bathed them. Dressed them. Rocked them. The moments that I caressed them. Cajoled them. Prompting them. Of course I strongly remember the time I disciplined them. There are standards that they had to follow. Certain qualities that they have to uphold. Most of the times there was no compromise. A standard is a standard. Even after they have all grown up (the youngest is 18 now) they are still required to adhere to those standards. By the way the eight has a blog of his own almaurid.blogspot.com.  A blog for him to express his thought. Or to expound on any subject  deemed worth thinking. The rest seemed to a share a blog mengemasrumah.blogsport.com. The latter is dedicated to their mother who has taught them so much. A huge tribute. An upbringing full of discipline. Never any compromise. Maybe it was the recipe for success. It could be the only recipe.

I was maybe a bit lenient. But I used to uphold whatever is imposed by my wife. She needed my support. It was the only way to impart a sense of responsibility unto my children. Alhamdulillah, they grew from that situation. They went to the wide world. To be alone. Self independent. When they come back they have self respect. Have moral judgement. Able to make decisions. Well aware of any adverse situation. Most importantly they have adversary quotient (AQ) dan excellent in emotional quotient (EQ). Two ingredients necessary for success. Guiding them to the distant future. The unknown. But  with certainty.

Children with well upbringing do gain success in their lives. Being  well educated, they should never become boomerang kids. Not to trouble their parents again. Not to be thrown out and come back hurtling and hurting back. Should never hit back. Should never give the slightest hint that their lives are in a mess. In disarray. Everything should be portrayed as happiness and well taken care off. When children are sent away, they are to learn and to acquire those ingredients for the worst in life. Be prepared for the worst. The future is always very harsh. Education is to overcome any uncompromising position in the years ahead. Just imagine if they come back as boomerang. Parents will be dejected. Something somewhere things did not performed accordingly. Something was made wrong.

 Down in my heart, I deeply remember the times gone by. Parents do become old. Yet their memories remain intact. Sticking in their mind until the end of time. Children will take over that turn when their time come completing that circle. Parents are parents. Always loving their dear children. Bearing better hopes for the best in them. I love you all. Yes! I always do. I have given you all the best there was. Of course with some limitations. Take stock and go for the future with vigour. The future should always be better. InsyaAllah.